And whatsoever ys do, do heartily as unto the Lord, and not unto men;
Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve THE LORD CHRIST.
I think of this particular verse quite often. Mostly, when I am about to sing to a crowd of people. Or, if I have to speak to a crowd..really, any kind of thing that I must perform before others.
I remember a time-after having sung many times already, one particular morning. We were at the phase of our church service where we were asked to all shake hands and fellowship with one another. I was scheduled to sing that morning.
This little old man in our choir (very Godly and forthright man, I might add), shook my hand. He said, "wow, your hands sure are cold and clammy!!!" (as he laughed). I said, "yeah- I'm SINGING and my stomach is in knots....does it EVER get any better, Mr. Miller?" He said, "not if you're doing it for the right reasons, JulieAnn!" (as he again laughed). I said, "great, thanks for the encouragement!" :-/
I never forgot those simple words of wisdom that this man, now promoted on to Heaven...told me that day, long ago.
I really studied into what he said to me. (being the over-thinker that I am).
In Colossians 3:23 (above), we are told that no matter what we do...do it heartily- as unto the LORD, and "not" unto man. That means giving everything that we have...our very best up to God. We do this (according to the Scripture) because we know that we shall receive blessing when we do, as servants of the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. When I sing...it's not for that crowd. It's for MY LORD, and His exaltation.
I am learning all the time that this is "not" about ME...contrary to what my stomach tells me when it's going nusto. Contrary to what satan tends to whisper in my ear- just before going up to sing or speak.
Satan is good at telling me how inadequate I am. He's good at telling me that I'm not good enough...I'm not prepared enough...etc. He is ALWAYS telling me "what do you think you're doing???? You KNOW you're not going to pull this off...everyone will know that you don't have a clue what you're doing!"
Well...I found that there is much freeing in REBUKING him when I recognize his voice. I used to tend to hear it as my own conscience...and beat myself up to a bloody pulp, inside. I used to let that stuff defeat me and CAUSE me to crack under the pressure. NO MORE.
Yes, I still get sick to death at my stomach when I have to sing or speak to a group of folks. Yes, I do get into a cold, clammy sweat. But now...I can at least recognize that it is God desiring to show Himself strong, in my weakness.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
In Gal. 1:10, Scripture says:
For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men?
For if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
Oh, I'd much rather please the most Holy God, rather than man-any day of the week. My eternity rests on that! Eternity is kind of important, don't you think?
Each time that I am faced with the "impossible" that has to happen not from my strength, but God's (whether it be singing, speaking, whatever)...I MUST pray. I must ask God to step in and take over. I cannot do it without Him. Realizing that, has made the biggest difference in my life. I now find doors are opening that were once shut. Mountains are being moved that were once in the way. God pours out showers of great blessing as a result of full reliance on Him, and Him alone.
I have realized, that:
"He must INCREASE, but I MUST decrease." (John 3:30)
I came to realize that all my worry and fear of these things in servanthood...if allowed into my heart and mind-is just satan getting victory when I let it be about ME, myself, and I. I can't let him have that! GOD deserves the victory. My very best.
I am encouraged by Gal. 2:20:
I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet NOT I, but CHRIST liveth IN ME: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself for me.
So, if I crucify myself, and let God ever so shine through me (since He's in me already), then no worries, eh?
Each time before I go up to sing or speak, you will see me sitting there, praying. I have to ask God, "please take this from me- more of YOU and less of me, Oh God! May You have preeminence in anything that I do or say!"
Oh, and let's not forget the conversation I have to have with satan just beforehand. I let him sternly know, that "yeah, I KNOW I don't have what it takes, but it IS CHRIST "in me" that will perform, and that's just FINE and ALL I NEED!" I have to tell him what Christ told him-which is "get thee behind me satan!" I have found that when I rebuke satan in such a way, and exercise that faith that I claim to have- God uses it to take away the bundle of nerves, and deliver great power that only He can bring forth through the message that He has in me.
It is so funny...even today...I am sick to death at my stomach until that first word comes out of my mouth. Then, it suddenly vanishes away...because God steps in. Just in the nick of time. Isn't that just like Him? In the twelfth hour...right there to my rescue.
So, I will press on...continuing in servanthood until He comes. Obedience is a blessing. I don't want God to rob me of any of the talents that He might have given me, because of fear and worry. That junk is satan's tool. He can use them elsewhere. He has no power here-for God is WITH ME. His promises are TRUE.
Therefore:
I will praise thee with my WHOLE HEART:
Before the gods will I sing praise unto THEE. (Psa. 138:1)
Phl. 3:14
I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
God, you are indeed, WORTHY. Let me not lose sight of that at ANY time.
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